Timelines, expectations, values, and priorities, change with age.
The things we look forward to when we are young are not the same things we look forward to when we are old. In fact, when we get old enough, there is not much looking forward, and more looking back.
When we look forward, our desires and the things that we value in life drive our ambitions and expectations. When we look back, it cannot be with expectation, but only with regret or satisfaction. Hopefully, with more satisfaction than regret.
As we get older, our forward timelines keep getting shorter. When we are younger we can think of, or imagine years, or even decades ahead. But when we become old, we can only think of what might happen months or a few years ahead, at most. That limits and reprioritizes what we can look forward to and expect from the future.
Since much of our excitement in life comes from what we can expect up ahead, and the rewards of pursuit and achievement, we must recalibrate our way of thinking about life, if we are to be happy as we get older. We must learn to see value and find joy in the things we already have and in more immediate things. We must learn to treasure where are in the moment, more than where we might be in the future. We must learn to enjoy daily achievements more than the pursuit of far-off goals.
I have learned to reduce my forward thinking timelines from years to months. I plan and live year-by-year and see how that goes. It feels more realistic and less susceptible to disappointment this way.
I also spend more time in reflections and with positive memories. I treasure my best memories most. I have worked hard to create them and have built them to last. Why should I let them go unvisited and forgotten? Though I am not young anymore, I still have many memories of the joys and excitements while younger. They are still mine to cherish and free to revisit as often as I want. This is a great asset that can be harvested as long as I can still remember things.
For those who think I dwell too much in the past, I remind them that that is where most of my life exists. But I also cherish the present. In fact, I cherish it more than the past or any un-promised future. I can still enjoy some things in the present. I can still make a difference in the present. I can still build memories in the present. The present tells me that I still am. So I will do what I can, when I can, without apology or explanation. I have earned the right to do this because I am old, and my time is short and precious to me.
To the younger ones I say, be careful and strategic in how you live your life and plan your experiences. Remember that positive memories will become one of your most valuable assets when you become older. Make sure that you are building more satisfying and positive memorable experiences while you are young, so they can help to sustain your happiness when you get older. Do what you can when you can and build your bank of good memories.
Also, as young as you think you are, please remember that time only flows in one direction, and your life timelines only get shorter. Therefore don’t put off pursuits and achievements for too long. Don’t take the future for granted. In fact, the only time you have available to do anything in your life is now! By all means, plan and be careful and strategic. Don’t just act on blind impulse which often results in chaos, disappointments, and regrettable memories. But plan in the present and act in the present. If a future comes, and if that future grants you the grace of old age, you will have prepared yourself to be as happy as you can be in that time also, by creating enjoyable memorable experiences.
